Category Archives: Musings of a Meek Maniac

This is generally what I have to say when something has taken up residence in the back of my mind, or just staging a riot in my brain.

Of Prayers, Psalms, and Penance

On Adoration

Oh Lord, Oh Almighty God, my words fall short in explanation
You hold all that is, was, and will be in the depth of Your wisdom
Simple exultation is clearly not enough, yet nothing less than You deserve
Your mercies are new every day and yet never ending
Your love outshines the sun and yet never sets over the cloudy skies of my heart
If only I, like the moon, could reflect Your radiance for just a short time
For in the nights of my years I desire You
And in the days I relish Your presence
For You are good, and You are God
And the truth of these shall never fail to be
 

On Seeking

My eyes blink, wishing to reveal a world of color and wonder
Darkness and vague whimpers of shape greet my sight
Where is the vibrant illumination I seek?
The light my senses crave?
What then clouds my sight, what mystery hides the face of wisdom?
Each step is that of drunken wandering, each call a cry unheard
Yet warmth floods in, and whispers reach my thirsty ear
“Son, thy journey is yet begun
But fret not, for the destination is clear to me
In faith I call thee to step forward
Trust that thine light can shine from within
And guide thee into thy promised rest”
So I lift my foot, setting it out ahead
And ripples of color begin to show
Revealing the footsteps of the One who walks
Ahead, behind, and beside

On Wisdom

Words of truth, knowledge, and insight
Found by those who open the mind and ear
Yet the fount of wisdom springs from within
Guided by the gentle voice of the Spirit
“Gush forth and consume the land
Heal the parched soil of the soul
Restore the decaying corners of the mind
Complete the cracked and faltering heart
For I am the source of all you seek”

On Pain

This wretchedness, the abundance of anguish
Speaking volumes when the throat has no words to utter
Crushing, shattering, piercing to the core
Why must I hurt? Why must it be so real?
When does this ruination of my person find rest?
Yet who am I to question the eternal providence of Your Holiness?
If in trial and tribulation I find my rest in You
Then how shall I not be purified like the silver before the smith?
Strip away my dross, Oh Lord, and allow this pain to yield luster
A shine that reflects you in truest form
Such only painful temperance could produce

On Silence

Staring into space, embracing the void
Emptying self into nothingness
Quiet, still, poised
Waiting
Wanting
Listening
Content in the lacking
Safe in the silence

On the Condemnation of the Flesh

Oh Lord, my Judge and Law-giver
I am wretched and condemned before thy Law
This flesh I am born into hates and rebels
Against all the good rewards
A peaceful and righteous life might obtain
How is it I do that which I wish not to do
When I see exactly what I should be doing
Remove this warring state within my nature
My Lord, My Redeemer
And sanctify my heart that I may cleave flesh and spirit
Leaving an obedient heart loyal only to You

On the Nature of Opposing Lands

Two countries stand opposed
One of rational thought and logic
The other of vibrant emotion and feeling
As the gates of one opens to issue its messengers
The other may very well keep theirs shut
All too often these messengers leave destitute
Forgoing the conversation so desperately needed
To benefit both lands in growth and wisdom

On Forgiveness
 
Oh Glorious Saviour
Thy gift is undeserved
How is it that a sinner like I
Has made it into Thy loving grace
A name written in blood
With an eternal script
Sufficient for past, present, and forever
Perfect to change my heart from stone to flesh
Death into life
And let me not forget this gift
And become callous to the plight of my nature
For Thy forgiveness is not to be wasted
Through a life of iniquity
But rather one to be affirmed in a life of obedience

On Sanctification

If pain has purpose
And trial creates tenacity
Then pour out Thy wrath on my heart, Oh Lord
Great and Fierce Warrior
For its callousness knows no end
And its war with the mind has no amnesty
For the mind knows what is good for the soul
Yet the heart, lost in its sin, continues to rebel
Like the smith with the silver
Purify me from within
Lifting my dross to the surface
And scrape me clean
Letting me reflect Thy holiness from within

 

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Rest(oration) and Relationships

I just realized that WordPress asks what’s on my mind when I open a new Quick Draft window. Ho boy if only WordPress knew… But that’s beside the point, because I’m really just here to call it quits. Not writing, no, this is too much of a release for me to stop. But rather seeking out a relationship. Or trying to be in control of my life in general. I know the topic of relationships seem to pop up in several of my posts lately, and for good reason. For the lack of a better way to put it, I have been pursuing a romantic relationship, mainly through online dating services, for the better part of the past five years. Yes, this means both an investment of time and money, and not a small one either. So why this admission now? Because I feel that is one of the many convictions God has placed on my heart, that I have abandoned my focus on the relationship with my ABBA Father in the hopes of finding a helpmate and spouse. This is not to say I have neglected my faith, for I have still made strides in my theological and spiritual growth during this time. However it is my direct connection to the Creator of all things that I have lost hold of.

There are some factors as to why I am suddenly facing an abyss within. First, as one might guess from having spent nearly five years pursuing a relationship, I have not much to show for it but heartbreak and hard lessons. Not to say that the lessons I have learned were not needed, but if I could go back and change some of my decisions, I can only imagine where God might have been able to use me. Second, the slow but steady fracturing of my social foundations. While my circle of friends has fluctuated frequently over the past few years, I have been living in the same house with the same person (my cousin Jake, who I consider also a close friend) for much of that time. This is about to change come the middle of August as he and another friend are headed to Dallas Theological Seminary. My heart has been aching over the departure for the familiar that I am facing, as I am a more sentimental than most people might believe. Not only this, but I am still in utter confusion what my life will look like in two months time, which brings me to reason three. Third, I am greatly desiring a teaching position so I might pursue my passion for working with young people and learning yet nothing has really turned up. In the meantime I have found a good job, but is by no means something I could do long-term (out of personal preference and comfort, not ability), and it is merely holding me over (at least in my mind) until I find a steady teaching position. And it has been this job search that revealed to me a saddening truth, that I might need to uproot from the little ground I have staked here in Warsaw, IN and go elsewhere. It dawned on me that at age 29, I really have no semblance of stability in my life. I have yet to hold a job for more than a couple years and have only begun to truly involve myself in a community. Yet it is the ties I have formed thus far that sharpen my desire to remain where I am at, and finally have a reason to “settle down”. Fourth, epic Scripture smackdowns. Y’all. The Holy Spirit hits hard. Like Mike Tyson left-hook hard. Like Bruce Lee flying kick hard. Despite missing more church services than attended since the school year came to a close, God has spoken to me every time I have set foot inside my church. I have always appreciated my pastors and the way God speaks through them, but these past couple weeks have been laying it on thick.

 

Point 1: God invites me to rest

I’ve said it before, but my spirit has been experiencing a time of weariness for some time. Like I’ve just been burnt out. And then Matthew 11:28 pops up at church. /Facepalm. Like, how easy is it to forget this? To just get so caught up in life that I forget that there is literally an open invitation from God for me to crash at his place. And boy do I need rest. My current work schedule is the graveyard shift, and I’m finding it harder and harder to sleep when I get home. This is on top of working basically 7 days a week for at least 8 hours a day. Sure the money is good, but the exhaustion is not something I’m used to. And in my attempt to go cold turkey with Mountain Dew (and those who know me personally know how big of a deal this is) means I have little to fall back on in terms of energy reserves right now. So rest would be good. And this is one of the convictions I have facing, to legitimately let God take the reins while I lie down for a while. It’s so frustrating to want things so bad, and not see any visible progress take place. But perhaps this is the lesson God has for me in this time, to let go and let Him steer my life.

Point 2: Faith demands Works

James is perhaps my favorite book of the Bible, and this idea is central to what James is teaching the church. I made the decision at the end of the school year to take a break from volunteering regularly at my church, in the interest of pursuing teaching opportunities and freeing up my schedule. Ironically, the opposite has happened, as I am busier now and miserable because I’m not nearly as involved at my church. James makes the point that faith without works is dead, which can also be taken on the flipside to mean that faith with works is alive! And honestly, I felt more alive serving in my church than I do now. I’ve always been someone who thrives helping in the background, facilitating the good work done by those gifted in evangelism and presence. And having not done much service lately, has noticeably effected my livelihood. And it isn’t just the church in which I wish to serve, but my community as well. This desire is a large part of why I desire a teaching position in the community I already reside, as it would give me greater opportunity to be involved in the lives of the people here. Faith is not just about saying the right things and knowing the right things (which btw knowledge is my thing) but doing the right things. Matthew 25:31-46 is the perfect example of what this will look like come judgment day. Our faith will be proved by the lives we blessed through our service, not through our words. It is not nearly enough to wish someone well, but to give them aid as you are able. This is something God has convicted me of lately.

Point 3: God knows

Something I struggled with is uncertainty. I’m not someone who can stand not knowing something I think I should know. This is a point of great stress and anxiety in my life. Yet as I’ve recommitted myself to reading and studying Scripture, and edifying my brothers and sisters in Christ with my knowledge, I am continually blown away by how impossibly vast God is. Like immeasurably unknowable. And to think He already knows all things, this just blows my mind. And all He asks of me is faith, and through this I am justified through Christ, and sanctified through the Holy Spirit. And if God knows exactly what is ahead (see Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 6:25-31) and is more than capable of caring for my every need, how much more should I stop all my worrying? This points back to my conviction on faith, but even more so reveals I struggles with control. I have walked a tightrope between blind faith and utter control freak most of my adult life, and this struggle is one-sided. That is to say, I’m struggling against myself here. This is one of the tests God has given me, to surrender all control to Him so he can use me in the accomplishment of His good work (Romans 8:28).

 

Now that I’ve spent nearly 75 minutes pouring conviction into script, I need to let my heart and mind rest. Not just today, but every day. Dear readers, I encourage you to do the same. Let God holds the reins of your life, they are much safer in His hands, as they are already big enough to hold the whole world. It’s a silly thing to think that trusting God with something so small takes so much faith, but then perhaps that is the difference between accepting Christ as our Savior, and accepting him as our Lord. We must die to the self daily, put our faith into action, and let God be glorified in us and through us. Cheers and amen.

 

 

 

S.D.G.

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Cultivating the Creative Consciousness

With the school year winding down and opportunities to substitute becoming as scarce as water in the desert, I’m forced to consider what I’ll be doing with myself over the summer. Summer often presents new possibilities and a chance for more activity than colder months, but I’ve often grown complacent and content in doing the simple and mundane tasks. Rather than just do the usual, I’ve thought about what I could do to spice it up this summer. This got me thinking about the qualities I value in others and the first thing that stuck out is the creative nature of people.

You see, I’m draw to the creative expressions of other people. Artists, builders, designers, creators, inventors, writers, dancers, painters, photographers, engineers, etc. Y’all amaze me. You take something unnoticed or undervalued and breathe life into it. Perhaps I appreciate these things more because I do not have that level of talent myself. Personally, my creative talents lie in my mind’s ability to design and create using words and phrases. And I enjoy doing so! I have several story (as in novels) ideas lying around and I might, just might, work on finishing one of them this summer. But let me get back to the purpose of this post…

I want to encourage everyone, no matter what your vocation or hobby, to keep giving it your all. You are needed! You create things for others they often don’t realize they need! Even those of you who don’t create in a traditional sense, remember you are creating moments and experiences every second of every day. Life is about creating memories and every moment counts. So I encourage you all, dear readers, to be not discouraged if you feel undervalued or lacking creativity in your daily life because I assure you memories are anyone’s forte. Value each moment, treasure each interaction, and cherish those memories you create!

 

 

S.D.G.

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Surviving the Soreness of the Soul

There is an indication our body gives when we stretch its capabilities and test its limits. We generally call this “being sore”. And today, on my last free day in my otherwise busy schedule for the next three weeks, I realized this soreness is not limited to our physical bodies alone.

 

It is easy to get so caught up in life’s busy-ness that we never take a moment to sit down and consider what has been happening to us and within us. While I did not necessarily plan for this to happen, I had several days off last week from subbing and I took the opportunity to rest, reflect, and read; all things I haven’t done much of for some time. Granted, one could argue that my last four posts were all reflections, but those were merely trivial compared to the introspective soul-searching I’ve done over the past few days. This internal pilgrimage had me revisiting many of the lessons God has taught me over the past year, facing old temptations, and anchoring new knowledge to a more secure place in my life. And as I wandered through this mental landscape, I felt a heaviness deep within, one not of sorrow or pain, but of exhaustion. I had become spiritually sore, having stretched and spurred my soul to grow in ways only God could have planned, and now I finally feel the aches of this maturity. Yet it is a weight I gladly bear, for I know the fruits of this labor are eternal and good, but must also be guarded and tended to like precious life on a barren wasteland.

 

As much as I would like to divulge every detail of my journey over the past year, I am still not yet finished with my journey of self-reflection and therefore cannot begin to highlight the stops and strongholds that littered this winding path. There is much uncertainty beyond the horizon and yet I feel a fierce dedication to what lies beneath the setting sun, knowing that each new day is an opportunity for growth: physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. And I readily welcome any traveler of this mortal plane who wishes to come alongside me and share their story to do so, as a life of experience has taught me that good company makes even the roughest road a smoother ride. And remember, the aches of life, whether physical, spiritual, emotional, or mental, are not merely times of unnecessary suffering but rather a sign of growth to come and maturity through experience waiting to happen. Cheers and God bless friends.

 

 

S.D.G.

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A Temporary 4th Down and Goal

I was almost tempted to walk out of the school today with my arms outstretched in a symbol of triumph. But honestly, that level of personal fanfare would have been in highly egregious taste. All things considered, this final week of this temporary substitution assignment went well. The students (well most of them) seemed disappointed that I would be done after Friday, though I wonder how many of them just weren’t friendly with the original teacher. But that really isn’t my concern, I put in a solid month in the classroom as I was asked and hopefully the students learned a thing or two. And the experience will look good on my resume and I should have a decent reference from the school in the future. Now on to the daily reflections:

 

Day 16-

In some ways I hate Mondays (as I should, being a self-proclaimed Garfieldian) but in others I look forward to them. Often, the students are more subdued because of their weekend wariness and generally less disruptive. However, I am also just as tired and can drag my feet for most of the day. I told all of my Science classes why the previous week had been so packed with activities and assignments, and many of them seems to acknowledge the reasons and accept the explanation as a form of apology for working them so hard. I still have an underlying problem of disrespect from some students, and sadly many of these students I have in more than one class. I actually busted out the “coach” voice to silence my 7th period. Many of the students seemed astonished that I could be so loud, or project my voice so well. As middle schoolers, they usually don’t realize how long they are being until you raise the volume one step further. I don’t like yelling at anyone, much less students, but sometimes you need to be a drill sergeant to get respect. The thought crossed my mind today that I might be very disappointed if I need to come back after Spring Break is over, even though that two week break would be nice either way.

Day 17-

Today was a whirlwind. I had two boys get into a scuffle (some might call it a fight, but there was little real aggression involved) during my 2nd period which quickly resulted in a bloody nose. Both boys spent the day in the office but I doubt either felt sorry for what transpired. Even if they were just goofing around, as soon as there’s blood it’s gone too far. My Science classes did an activity with sugar cubes and although they struggled to keep track of all 64 given to them per bag, I don’t believe anyone ate one. Which to be honest would have been rather disgusting because the sugar cubes have been handled by who knows how many grubby hands and picked up unknown bacteria from the table surfaces. I had a girl (one who has never show me respect and obviously doesn’t like me) mouth off to me in Math Lab, so I wrote her up and sent her to the office. Her attitude isn’t likely to change or improve, but I drew a line and she crossed it. And probably not for the last time…

Day 18-

The home stretch is within sight! With only three days left, I can feel a change in my spirit and attitude towards each class. On one hand, the students are starting to anticipate Spring Break and getting antsy and on the other, I’m ready to get back to the crazy life of a day-to-day sub. Most of the classes this week have been fairly low-key and the Science classes are keeping pace with the content I had planned for the week. I’ve hung the “carrot” of a fun day on Friday to encourage them to stay focused on taking notes and completing their work, but there are still students falling behind on their homework. My PLTW class is been very enjoyable to teach and so far I have been impressed with their Invention presentations. One student is a little behind but he also missed the first day the class had to work on their presentations. The Math Labs are basically a study hall as the new students only received their logins today and the rest of the students have kinda burnt out. As long as they are doing something productive and not running around the room like animals, I’m content to play monitor. This also gives me extra time to grade and even read. Since grading and planning have been minimal for this week, I should be able to wrap up the week pretty quick. I’ve warned the students that any missing work not turned in before Spring Break could result in a zero, but what I didn’t tell them is that not doing the work would also mean they’d miss out on the “Funday” Friday. And to be honest, I don’t want to leave a lot of missing work for the returning teacher to track down as soon as she returns after Spring Break.

Day 19-

In most of my classes, today was the final day of actual instruction, except PLTW. Tomorrow will just be a fun day and I told students to feel free to bring in snacks or card games to play. I decided to make Friday a fun day partially because it will be my final day as their temporary sub and also it’ll be Spring Break and I really didn’t feel like planning another lesson. I really this makes me a little lazy but with all the late and missing work to track down, that gives me enough to worry about. It’s basically like pulling teeth with some of these students because, despite giving them the equivalent of lunch detention for more than one day, they still haven’t turned in much of their missing work. I’ve already written up one student for failing to do his homework and will probably write up a couple more before I leave the school tomorrow. I’m actually starting to look forward to not worrying about grading and missing work, as well as no longer having to deal with some of the poor attitudes and lack of responsibility some of these students have displayed.

Day 20-

Last day, last day, last day! As today is a “Fun day Friday”, I literally sat at my desk and read my book while students played card games or on laptops. Any student who had late work got sent to the library to work on it, and this realization seemed to motivate many of them to actually do the assignments. A couple students still dragged their feet and accomplished almost nothing, and these are the same students who have given me headaches the entirety of this temporary assignment. At least I can say I tried to get these students to do their homework but ultimately it is not my responsibility to make them do it. If they want to be defiant, then they must accept the consequence of a failing grade. I made use of my extra time to do all my grading and got the returning teacher caught up with each class’ progress and highlighted any special considerations (such as students who might give her trouble after Spring Break) before turning in my keys and leaving the building. The weather outside was absolutely perfect and matched the warm feeling I had walking away from what proved a challenging but enjoyable experience.

 

Well that wraps it up, unless something drastic happens to the returning teacher in the next two weeks that prevents her from returning and I’ll need to step back in. I’m praying that won’t happen, but I guess if it does then you lovely folks will get a bonus round! Hopefully you’ve enjoyed these reflections, and if this is the first of my posts you’ve read feel free to check out some of the older posts as well. Cheers!

 

 

S.D.G.

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Third Times the (Temporary) Charm

Week three has come and gone, and I’d be lying if I’m didn’t say I’m glad I’m reaching the end of this assignment. It’s been hard trying to integrate myself into a school environment nearly 3/4 of the way through an academic year, and the students’ attitude towards me kinda reflects that. Many of the students warmed up to me after a week or so, but the “problem” students almost got worse, and certainly didn’t really improve much. There’s a whole lot I could talk about here, that would expand way beyond the school environment as a whole, so I feel it is fair to say that I have nothing against this school, its students, or the environment, but rather that I wish to recognize how difficult the circumstances surrounding this assignment has been for me to really establish myself in the classroom and with my students. It also doesn’t help that Daylight Savings Time now forces me to wake up when it’s still dark out, and I definitely start out each day pretty glum. But on to the daily reflections:

Day 11-

Today was the start of a new quarter, which means changes in some classes and a “clean slate” for many students. The overall downside to this period of transition is that my 7th grade Math Lab class got even bigger, and most of the students they added have already given me headaches in other classes. It only compounds the control issues I have with this class that the new students do not have access to the online program they are supposed to be using for this remedial math class, which means it’s basically a study hall. I’m about to blitz a mini-unit on fossils and dating the earth’s layers to finish out our Earth Science portion of Science 7 in order to take the Acuity test at the end of the week, which is honestly a lot to try to do for the start of a new quarter. But honestly, the only way I can see to maintain control in any of my classes is to constantly have work for them to do. I am excited to be teaching a new Project Lead The Way class, which is basically Intro to Engineering for 7th grade, because I’ll be learning just as much as most of the students. Hopefully this week isn’t as taxing as it appears it might be.

Day 12- 

I honestly have nothing new to say that hasn’t been beaten into the ground. Dealing with disrespectful students and poor attitudes has just become routine at this point, and I’m starting to count the days until Spring Break. There are a couple students who constantly toe the line of being sent to the office, and I might just have to make it their new home for the last week, because they do practically nothing productive in my class. Again I’m reminded how difficult a situation I was thrown into at the start of this assignment, and I’m honestly just doing all I can to teach the students who want to learn and ignore those who don’t care anymore.

Day 13-

Today was probably the worst day I have had so far of this assignment. Not only did I have a headache all day, but certain students seemed to be doing everything they could to only increase my discomfort. Science and PLTW are going fine, but the Math Labs are almost pointless. Students don’t want to work and those who are have about hit the ceiling of their ability anyway. I sent one student to the office today because we watched an educational video explaining a key concept to the day’s lesson, during which he was obviously not paying attention and goofing off, and, after it finished, was very disrespectful when I tried to get feedback from the class. To be honest, he got the short end of the stick because I was already tired from my headache, a lack of sleep, and the previous period, but his behavior was still uncalled for and very disruptive. I feel very out of place in my desire to explain to some of these students why their behavior is uncalled for because most of them haven’t been shown differently and they already lack the respect necessary for my authority for that explanation to have much of an impact.

Day 14-

Today I was just sore, and wanted a break. I did a review trivia game with my Science classes to help them get ready for the Acuity test, which is always a highlight for me because I love trivia and competition always seems to get kids interested in the activity. The students seemed to like the competitive nature of the review, so as far as the classes go, today went pretty well. But come the end of the day I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I actually put off any grading because I just wanted to go home and rest. This assignment as given me valuable experience for being a full-time teacher, and a greater appreciation for building relationships with the students from the first week.

Day 15- 

If I’ve said it before then I don’t want to say it again. So the sparknotes of today are as follows: Math Labs were just a period to get through, Science was all about the Acuity test, and PLTW was a project workday. This meant I had plenty of time to work on catching up on grading, so I was able to leave the school at a pretty decent time. Plus Fridays are a tad shorter, so the only work I had to do was get my lesson plans for Monday ready and I was home free for the weekend. However I had an incredibly frustrating situation occur during my 4th period Science class (which if you’ve been reading these reflections you’d know this is the largest class I have). I caught two male students, who sit in the corner, working on something other than the Acuity test while they were “taking” the test. This honestly could’ve been grounds for cheating, as I told each class that I should see only two tabs on their laptops, music and the test. Yet these two boys decided whatever else they were doing was more important than the Acuity test and I about lost it. I confronted them and they seemed to have no idea why I has upset. I reported the incident to the Jr High counselor, so it’s no longer in my hands but still I struggle to find any logical reason behind why these students thought what they were doing was acceptable.

 

So three weeks down, and one to go. And this week I earn a full-time teacher’s salary! My bank account will be happy haha. I apologize to those of you who looked for this post yesterday but I just needed 24 hours to unwind before reflecting on everything that happened in the classroom this week. Hopefully next week goes better and I receive the good news from the teacher I am covering for that she will indeed be back after Spring Break, which she should know on Monday. And in all things, dear reader, I hope this has been as entertaining for you to read as it is therapeutic for me to write. Cheers!

 

 

S.D.G.

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Secondary Minutes in the Life of a Temp

I can honestly say there’s a noticeable difference between how last week and this week has gone. Not only is the daily schedule fairly normalized as ISTEP testing is all but over, but also that many of the students have accepted me as their new teacher for the next few weeks. It goes without saying that some students are still a handful, but at least I’m in a better place to handle those disruptions now than I was last week. So on to the day by day!

Day 6-

I just realized that this week the dates actually coincide with the number of days I have been on this assignment. Crazy huh? As far as Monday’s go, today wasn’t too bad, but some students are really toeing the line with me. I decided to try to entice my Math Labs to work harder by offering them a reward if they can maintain a good average for learning across the week, so we’ll see if that actually worked or not. Things do feel a little subdued at the school today, which could either be due to it being the final day of ISTEP for 7th grade or just because it’s the beginning of a new week. It’d be nice if this level of lethargy sticks around for the rest of the week , but that’s probably wishful thinking haha.

Day 7-

Still can’t quite get over the fact that the days line up the way they do, maybe it just appeals to my peculiar sense of number structures. Sadly, this thought was about the only entertaining thing about my day. I officially put my foot down in my science classes, basically telling them to “sit down, settle down, and shut up”. In general, each class has a few students who struggle to contain their talkativeness and end up carrying on conversations while I am trying to teach, which is extremely disrespectful and disruptive. I told every class that this little speech I gave was their final warning and if I had to stop class to reprimand them for being disruptive, it’d be a write-up. If they continued such behavior after this, they’d go to the office. To be honest, the fact that some students haven’t already been sent to the office already shows a great deal of leniency on my part. I really don’t want to send students to the office, especially on days I’m covering new material, but I’m also certainly not afraid to start writing up students who still don’t handle themselves in a proper manner.

Day 8-

Well I definitely called it. Sent one student to the office today and wrote up another for talking. These two students, in particular, fall into a category of students that are self-absorbed and not very socially conscious of their behavior and honestly I hope they learn something from my time at this school because I’ll probably be pretty hard on them from time to time. It might be tough love, but I do believe I’m doing it for their ultimate good. Overall however, most of the students seem to have responded positively to my speech yesterday and are much better behaved and respectful to classroom operations. Another problem I’m facing now is a host of students who have missing or late work. I’m not entirely sure how this school handles such situations, but I need to find out so I can get those grades in before the window closes for the nine weeks. Several students will have lunch detention in order to get those assignments done, but I just need to figure out who to notify about that. I also need to find more ways to accommodate for students with special needs and/or learning disabilities, but I have almost no information to work with there. It’s easy to forget how hastily I was brought into this position and in many ways I’m playing a lot of catch-up when it comes to school policies and operations. Thankfully, the teacher I am covering for is very organized with her lesson plans, so the content really is the least of my worries.

Day 9-

Today was super laid-back because many of the Jr High was gone on a reward trip for keeping up with their homework and grades. However that did mean the students left behind were usually the “difficult” ones to begin with. But because I had significantly less students in every class, I was able to focus on certain students and get to know some of them a little better, which hopefully helps build respect between myself and the students in general. My math labs are barely short of meeting their goal for the week and earning the reward (donuts for my morning class and cookies for the afternoon). My planning for the end of the Earth Science super-unit is taking shape and I just need to setup a time for the students to take the Earth Science Acuity test, most likely next Friday. But before that, I need to teach them about fossils, which I find to be a very dated topic…

Day 10-

I was really glad today is the end of the week and that classes are just a little shorter. Not only was I up late last night for a “skype date” but also I need a break from some of these students. Especially the ones in my 7th grade Math Lab, I mean I had to write-up one girl for hitting another student on top of the head, one boy for always antagonizing other students into creating disruptions, and a third for throwing pencils and paper across the room. I hate to put it this way, but I barely tolerated being at school tonight because I was heading out of town to see my brothers (and their wives) this weekend. It’s always meaningful for me to see my brothers, because in many ways they understand me better than anyone else I know, including most of my friends. My Science classes did a practice test over the unit we just completed, and the only reason I didn’t collect it for a grade is because I did NOT want to do any grading this weekend. Not that I wouldn’t have the time, but I just didn’t want to do anything school related for a couple days. That said, I might go in on Sunday to put the finishing touches on my lesson plans for my fossils mini-unit, but I might just need a nap instead haha.

 

Well folks, two weeks down in this assignment, and probably two more to go. The teacher I’m covering for is hopefully she’ll be able to come back a couple days before the school lets out for spring break (which is two weeks long!) but even if she did, I’d probably stay and teach for those last couple days (cuz I’m poor and that last week I’ll be on full-time teacher pay!). Thanks again for reading along and if you are the praying sort, I’d certainly appreciate some! Cheers and God bless!

 

 

S.D.G.

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