Just recently, without warning, I have been confronted with a dilemma that has the potential to open the door to a world of possibilities. What is this dilemma? The untimely demise of my desktop computer’s motherboard. Now before any reader decides to point out the obvious, I am currently using the computers at my place of work to write this. Now if you know me personally, you would be fully aware that my computer is the hub at which I find great satisfaction and relaxation, as well as many hours of entertainment. But now this refuge has been stripped away, no longer the fallback for when I’ve had a rough day and just need to relieve some stress by playing any of a multitude of games or watching a multitude of shows. However the biggest question in my mind isn’t when I should replace my desktop (for that time will come eventually) but rather how long can I survive without it?
Due to my current busy schedule consisting of a full-time job, a part-time job, coaching a soccer team, and playing on a soccer team, I have found myself with less time at my computer desk than in years past. Undoubtedly this created a bit of a paradox, for my computer has always represented a distinct side of my personality. But now that it has faded and I am forced to wonder if this dilemma presents itself as a step towards the man I am becoming. So here is my grand experiment: to endeavor until the holiday season (or more specifically, my Birthday, which is mid-December) without replacing my desktop computer. Now this is not a commitment to withdrawal from the online presence I represent nor am I giving up gaming but rather I am testing my limits by denying myself a source of solitude. A wise man once suggested that, as men, we should deny ourselves something each day, whether it be that extra cup of coffee in the morning or a dessert after dinner or a second episode of a show on Netflix, etc. So here I am, consciously denying myself the safety of a personal computer for nearly 5 months. Whether I make it that long is the test of my determination to see change within my life.
I will remain connected through my smartphone (as I need a quick and efficient way to check my email and other messages) and the computers at my work but I will do all I can to create an atmosphere of separation when I am at home. It is my desire that this separation will thrust me further out into a social presence and improve the nature and strength of my relationships across the board. And at the very least, it might help me get more sleep! So if you do know me personally, don’t ask how I’m doing, ask me how it feels to be without my safety net, however be prepared for the brutal honesty you might receive.