A Vicious Cycle

I hate watching movies in which I relate too much with the main character.  It always seems to bring out the darkest and deepest secrets I dislike about myself.  Never the good things, only the hurt and agony I feel.  I’m trapped in an inconsolable cycle of having nothing to do because I’m alone and being alone because I have nobody to do things with.  This is only the latest revelation in a series that cannot help my mental help one bit.  Sometimes the things I want the most are the things I cannot seem to get no matter how hard I fight for them.  I speak the language but I have no comprehension of what I’m saying.  Honesty could do me some good right now…


This was not what I originally had in mind when I started this intermittent blog, but somethings it ends up being the only form of outlet I have for the pent-up frustration and self-loathing I chronically feel.  Creativity and corruption, desire and desolation, fallacy and fact; I am but the sum of my contradictions and a remnant of what I aimed to become…


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